The Cullens go Bowling
by minime21
Summary: The Cullens drag Bella to go bowling with them.
1. Chapter 1 Going Bowling

**Disclaimer - Last time I checked, (which was ten seconds ago), my name wasn't Stephanie Meyer. Therefore I don't own the twilight series. I do, however, own a pen. And the pen is writing this story.**

**A/N – This story takes place after Bella and Edward get married but before Bella is changed into a vampire**

I woke up at 7am in the morning and stared straight into two golden eyes. "Hi Bella!" chirped the light golden eyes, as they slowly leaned back and I got a better view of their owners. An extremely hyperactive small pixie like girl. In other words, my sister, Alice. Rosalie was just slightly behind Alice. After Edward and I had wedded, Rosalie had warmed up to me, slightly, but we hadn't gotten that close. So when she smiled angelically at me, I got worried, fast.

"Guess what were going to do!" Alice was quickly bouncing up and down,which is never a good sign. Ever.

"Leave and let me sleep!" I suggested rolling over in my bed. Therewasn't much hope. Whatever, at least I tried.

What Alice wants, Alice gets, period. No matter who gets woken up along the way.

"BOWLING!" Rosalie blurted out enthusiastically. Obviously Alice's hyper activeness had become contagious. I was absolutely horrified. I'd never gone bowling before but I was still pretty sure it was going to be a total disaster waiting to happen. I couldn't believe Alice had come up with this, or that Edward had agreed to it.

Just then Edward walked into the room looking quite cheerful. I narrowed my eyes and zeroed in on him. "How could you do this to me! You're supposed to be my husband!" I sat up and threw my hands in the air.

"Sorry love, but Alice threatened my CD's."

"And I'm less important than CD's!"

"Oh of course you are love, but… it's the CDs!"

"That's it Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! You aren't getting anything for the next MONTH!"

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Somehow Alice had managed to get me dressed and into the car under 5 minutes. A new record for her. In the car, I saw Emmett slipping a small white tube of something into his pocket while humming the Mission Impossible theme song. I decided not to ask him what it was. Alice was busy trying to stuff 37 outfits into the trunk of the car. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

"Alice honey, you know you can't wear all those clothes in one trip, right?" Carlisle was trying hard not to laugh.

"But they're not for me! They're for all the people with bad fashionsense out there in the world!" Alice had the 'pretty please with cherrieson top' look on, the one no one could resist. Carlisle caved, and Alice forced Edward into the trunk as she claimed thatthe clothes would wrinkle if dumped there.

An hour later we finally arrived at the bowling alley, but Alice wasn't allowed to go in as she wouldn't wear the rental shoes. She finally bribed the guy at the counter to let her wear her own rhinestone incrusted bowling shoes. (her design, of course)

After Alice's little show we went over to the last bowling alley, where it was darkest and we were less noticeable.

Carlisle was up first. He started his swing but, whenhe tried to release the ball; the ball wouldn't come off his fingers and he fell flat on his face. Emmett muttered "Mission complete" and then burst out laughing on the floor. I thought he was going to pee his pants. I got a good look at Emmett's tube from earlier, and it said 'super strength glue'. I knew from there that his was going to be an experience.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer - Last time I checked (which was ten seconds ago) my name wasn't Stephanie Meyer. Therefore I don't own the twilight series. I do, however, own a pen. And the pen is writing this story.**

BPOV

Next up was Rosalie. She had a great form, and sent the bowl in a straight line. The only problem? The ball was so slow that a snail could probably beat it. Rose seemed very pleased with herself.

"Uh, Rose, you're supposed to knock over the bowling balls, not gently tap them." Emmett seemed slightly confused, as did the rest of the Cullen family.

"I know that, but I didn't want to break a nail." She flipped her newly polish red nails in our direction.

"But you're a vampire, you can't break a nail." "But in a lot of movies people break nails when they're bowling. And I, for one, am not willing to take that risk." She strutted away to her seat.

Edward came next, and bowled, of course, a perfect strike.

As did Esme,

And Jasper,

And Alice.

Then it was Emmett's turn. He bowled the ball, but it went straight into the gutter. He tried again, with the same result. "This is a stupid game!" he raged and ripped up the scoreboard.

Luckily, no one had noticed and he quickly ran off with it. Ten seconds later he came back with a tray of food and no scoreboard. No one even bothered to tell Emmett that he couldn't eat it. They'd given up after the first decade.

And then it was my turn. Not surprisingly, my clumsy streak decided to choose this moment to kick in. When I released the ball, I fell forward, my arm catching on the tray of food, tipping the whole thing on top of me. "Guess who has an extra outfit? Me! I told you guys these would come in handy."

Alice handed me one of her 37 outfits she'd brought and started dragging me into the bathroom. "Wait a minute Alice, didn't you say that these outfits were for the people with no fashion sense?" "They are." And before I could figure out whether or not she'd insulted me, she shoved me into the bathroom.

When I came out again, Emmett and Rosalie had gone off to do who knows what in who knows where, Jasper was curled up in a corner muttering something about how cruel women could be, and Alice, Edward and Esme were battling for first place in bowling with Carlisle keeping score as Emmett had destroyed the scoreboard. It turned out that Jasper had tried to get it on with Alice, but had been brushed off because she was so intent on winning, and he'd gone to the corner to sulk. When no one bothered to comfort him he went over to try his luck on one of those machines where you had to try and fish out prizes with a hook.

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Hope you liked it. PLEASE REVIEW. The next chapter is Carlisle's revenge


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer - Last time I checked, (which was ten seconds ago), my name wasn't Stephanie Meyer. Therefore I don't own the twilight series. I do, however, own a pen and the pen is writing this story.**

CPOV

Moronic Emmett and his imbecilic prank, I was going to have my revenge on him, if it was the last thing I did. My superior vampire intellect was churning out ideas and sooner or later I would have the masterfulplan.

Thinking…Contemplating…Organizing…Perfect! After a minute or so of plotting, I had come with a plan for Emmett's demise. My plan had several steps to its completion.

Step one – Get the empath on my side.

This was easily done as Jasper was still mad at Emmett about the killer bunnies thing (do not bother to ask) and was itching to get him back.

Step two – Ascertain that Emmett and Rosalie are quite cozy.

Once again, you have to admire Jasper. He said that he could feel the lust coming from those two on the other side of the bowling rink. Apparently, they were in a supply closet. One can guess as to what they were doing.

Step three – Ready the equipment.

I made sure that the camcorder was connected to the substantially large monitor in the middle of the bowling alley. With that done, it was time to set my plan to action.

I had Jasper send a big wave of truthfulness Emmett's way. I turned on the camcorder and silently opened the door. Now everyone in the bowling alley could see my revenge.

Emmett and Rosalie were caught up in a very unPG13 moment when Emmett suddenly leaned forward and said "Rosalie, not to be rude, but I think you're bad in bed".

Rosalie was speechless for a moment and then settled on bitchslapping Emmett and strutting away.

I could hardly suppress my laughter, Rosalie was in nothing but lingerie and Emmett had no shirt and his jeans were half of. Persisting to laugh, I walked off to join my vampiric family.

When I got there, the assistant manager was talking to Esme. Edward looked at me and muttered, "we are getting kicked out," to low for a human to hear.

Ten minutes later we were standing in the street again with nothing to do, when Alice had the brilliant idea of scavenger hunt. Oh joy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer - Last time i checked, (which was ten seconds ago), my name wasn't Stephanie Meyer. Therefore I don't own the twilight series. I do, however, own a pen, and the pen is writing this story.**

APOV 

I am completely and utterly thrilled! I have been planning this for ages, a full 2 hours ever since I got that first vision of us getting kicked out of the bowling alley when Emmett decided to prank Carlisle. I had everything organized, with the lists and everything. I even organized the teams. 

The teams were formed of the couples, While Jazzypoo would be the judge. I mean, it would be seriously unfair if he played because he would beat the other teams easily, as he is just amazing like that.

I think I may have gotten a little to into the whole planning because I named each team:

Emmett and Rosalie were team "Get a room".

Carlisle and Esme were team "Parental Control".

And Bella and Edward were team "Cute Love Birds" 

I know they are going to hate me for that ,but I couldn't resist because Edward and Bella are just so cute when they're together.

I even made all of them the most adorable t-shirt with their names printed on them. A FASHION MUST!

For some reason though, they didn't seem very thrilled about it. I had Jazz lighten the mood a bit, you know, to help the spirit. Once the vibe was lightened, there was no time to lose. We had a scavenger hunt to start. I quickly went over the rules.

"Each team will get a list of all the items to retrieve in the scavenger hunt. Different items are worth a different number of points. The items that are harder to retrieve are worth more points. You have 12 hours to find the items, then we will all meet back here to tally up the points. The winner gets a big prize of their choosing, within reason. No Emmett, you can't become the Prime Minister of China. Is everybody clear?"

Before I had even finished my sentence, the street was empty. Gosh, where were their manners? 

�

RPOV

I looked at some of the items on the list. Emmett and I had decided that our strategy would be to get the items worth the most points.

A few things jumped out at me on the list. Aro's cloak, a werewolf's underwear…this list had to be a joke, but I wanted that prize. Even though I had no idea what it was going to be. 

Emmett and I decided to go for the werewolf underwear, first. It would be hard, because since we couldn't go onto the reservation we'd have to tempt a werewolf out and then steal his boxers. 

I picked up my cell phone and dialed that dog's number

"Hello, is this Jacob Black?" I asked, mimicking Bella's tone to perfection.

"Bella?" 

"Hi, I was just wondering if you could come out of La Push so I can profess my undying love to you."

"I'll be there!" He promised. I almost gagged, right there.

Ten minutes later he was there, and we were ready. Emmett had raided my bathroom and found all sorts of lotions and gooey stuff to use as ammo for our water balloon attack.

When he got out of his car, we opened fire. I kept aiming for the eyes until…"Hit!". While he was temporarily blinded by 'Pantene Hair Wash', Emmett made his move, he tied the mutt to a chair and removed his underwear. 

"That's 50 points for us!" he yelled waving Jacob's Spongebob Squarepants boxers in the air.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer - Last time I checked (which was 10 seconds ago), I wasn't Stephanie Meyer. Therefore I don't own Twilight, New Moon or Eclispe. I do, however, own a pen and the pen is writing this story.**

**Does anyone even read the disclaimers?**

EPOV (Esme not Edward)

I don't know where my daughter got her psychotic streak, but she was certainly very imaginative, I can tell you that much. Carly and I decided to just work our way down the list. It was a simple yet effective strategy. The first thing on the list happened to be Edward's Volvo, worth 20 points.

Well, that would be easy enough to take, but when we got there the garage was empty and there was a note from Alice instead saying;

'Sucker, you didn't think it would be this easy, did you?'- The Wonderful Alice

Oh, she was definitely getting grounded for this, but you couldn't help but admire her planning skills. That's my girl, always has a trick up her sleeve.

But my Carlisle, being the genius doctor that he is, saw the tire tracks, and followed them. He followed them all the way around the house where they suddenly disappeared. This left us completely baffled.

APOV

I just got a vision of Carlisle and Esme trying to find Edward's Volvo, which sent me laughing on the floor. You see, they had followed the tire tracks to the right location but they didn't seem to realize that the Volvo was on the roof. I'm a genius, right?

CPOV

We were at the back of the house because that was where the tire tracks ended, but we couldn't find the Volvo. That girl of mine was so sneaky. Suddenly, Esme and I heard a teetering noise. Then there was a huge crash and something came spiralling down and landed on top of us.

That 'something' turned out to be Edward's Volvo, it had been parked on the roof and had just fallen off, on top of us.

"That's 20 points for us," muttered Esme from underneath the car.

EPOV

Since Bella was so fragile, we decided to go for the more easily attainable items. This was the best strategy for our situation because that prize isn't worth Bella being hurt. If we win, we win but until then we aren't risking Bella's well being.

So far, we'd collected a leaf, a pair of red dice, glasses, a video camera, a mobile phone, and a pillow, bringing us a grand total of … 3 points.

We were currently trying to reach a forked branch on a tree. Bella had reassured me that she could handle this task. I reluctantly gave in and let her climb the tree. She had almost reached it when she tripped.

"I'm okay," came her muffled voice, "my butt broke the fall,".

She climbed up again, but promptly rolled down a hill.

My heart skipped a bit, or would have, if it still worked.

"I'm okay, my head broke the fall!" she called.

"BELLA!!" I rushed down the hill after her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer - Last time I checked, (which was ten seconds ago,) I wasn't Stephanie Meyer. Therefor I don't own Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse. I do, however, own a pen and the pen is writing this story.**

EPOV (Emmet's Point of View)

Success, 50 points for us!

After Rosalie and I had finished doing our happy dance, which involved lots of twirling and shaking, we turned our attention to the next item on our list, which was unfortunately…

Aro's cloak.

And it was worth 50 points. The bigger the better, I always say.

Since we were super talented and amazingly awesome vampires and could run, swim and perform any physical ability at an unbelievable supersonic speed of super talented and amazingly awesome vampires, we reached Volterra, Italy within the hour.

Using my enhanced instincts a.k.a. a street map, we quickly found the Volturi's evil underground lair.

Breaking in through an open window (honestly, the Volturi were a secret guard of elite vampires, they could at least close the window) we followed the conveniently located directories to Aro's main chamber. This was a piece of cake.

When we reached his room, we did a quick perimeter sweep. Amazingly, most of Aro's clothes were located accordingly in one place, a large wooden closet. Inside, hanging next to Aro's shiny disco suit and hot leather pants (which I had no time to question) was his spare cloak. We had just grabbed it and were just about to leave when the most clichéd thing happened. The door opened and Aro came in making us trapped in the closet.

I couldn't help but giggle, oh…oh…I...I mean laugh very mannishly at the situation. Rosalie and I were in a closet together and kept quiet.

"Who's there?"

Uh oh, Aro had obviously heard my giggle, uh, I mean my mannish chuckle.

"Come out or I will release my rabid teddy bear on you!" he called obliviously full of fear.

Rabid teddy bear? This guy seriously needed to get out more. I couldn't help it, I busted out laughing. Rosalie tried to hit me to get me to stop but it only worsened my laugh attack.

Aro let out a girlish shriek and ran out of his room.

Still laughing, Rosalie and I made our way out of the Volturi's castle. Two hours later we were back in Forks.

And now we had 100 points!

Plus an epic picture of Aro screaming like a little girly-girl. Who said camera phones were useless?

Who's da man? I'm da man.

**BPOV**

I felt that we were off to a good start with five points, but team 'Get A Room' were up to 100! We knew this information because my husband is a super talented and amazingly awesome telepathic. It seems as though they have gone after the harder to obtain items, something we couldn't do because of my …current state of being. (We wouldn't have this problem if _someone_ wasn't so stubborn, but noooooo.)

This was when my sweet angel got a brilliant idea! He had gone over the rules and realized that it never said in the rules that we couldn't steal items from other teams! Oh this was brilliant!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh wait, did I just laugh evilly? I must be on a sugar high. It was one of my methods to keeping up with these vampires everyday…eating raw sugar during breakfast. It obviously had a minor downside. Maybe I should stop.


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